When I\x27m Five

When I'm five

I will wash my face me hands all by myself

When I'm five

I will chew and spit tabacco like my grandfather Jones

'Cause I'm only four and five is far away

When I'm five

I will read the magazines in mummy's drawer

When I'm five

I will walk behind the soldiers in the May Day parade

'Cause I'm only four and grown-ups walk too fast

Yesterday was horrid day, 'cause Raymond kicked my shin

And mummy says if I am good, she'll let me go to school in

August

Daddy shouted loud at mummy and I dropped my toast at breakfast

And I laughed when Bonzo licked my face, because it tickled

I wonder why my daddy cries and how I wish that I was nearly

five

When I'm five

I will catch a butterfly and eat it and I won't be sick

When I'm five

I will jump in puddles, laugh in church and marry my mum

And I'll let my daddy do the washing-up

If I close one eye, the people on that side can't see me

I get headaches in the morning and I rode on Freddie's tricycle

And everywhere was funny, when I ran down to the sweetshop

Then I fell and bleeded-up my knee and everybody soppied me

I saw a photograph of Jesus and I asked him if he'd make me five

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