Thank God For Girls

Thank God for Girls - Weezer

The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair

Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip

In the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade

And you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon

To employ your testosterone

In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV

And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts

Bruises and scrapes

And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments

And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home

She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes

And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth

And that's why you

Thank God for girls

Holla Jesu Christe

From Tennessee to LA

Thank God for girls

On your reckoning day

You better bow down and pray

She's so big

She's so strong

She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls

Thank God for girls

Thank God for girls

Thank God for girls

I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though

She isn't mine

I think about her all the day

And all the night it's enough to know that she's alive

She says I give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attack

The truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to act

I wish that I could get to know her better

But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter

I carved her name into all the trees

Sang a song down on one knee

Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like

When I was 14

I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around

I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna' meditate

On a bed of nails with my pants pulled down

Thank God for girls

Holla Jesu Christe

From Tennessee to LA

Thank God for girls

On your reckoning day

You better bow down and pray

She's so big

She's so strong

She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls

Thank God for girls

Thank God for girls

Thank God for girls

God took a rib from Adam

Ground it up in a centrifuge machine

Mixed it with cardamom and cloves

Microwaved it on the popcorn setting

While Adam was like that really hurts

Going off into the tundra so pissed at God

And he started lighting minor forest fires

Stealing osprey eggs

Messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea

Until God said Ima smite you with loneliness

And break your heart in two

And Adam wept and wailed

Tearing out his hair falling on his knees

Looked to the sky and said

Thank God